CALL ME KAT
“Call Me Freaky”
Outline
COLD OPEN
INT. THE MIDDLE C PIANO BAR – DAY
At the BAR, KAT snores to the irritation of the other PATRONS. SHEILA coughs progressively louder while MAX, RANDI, and GIDEON half-heartedly poke her to no avail. She startles awake when CARTER quietly dings a SHOT GLASS. Carter: “Look what our Kat dragged in.”
Yawning, Kat spills her all-nighter dealing with the aftermath of the puppy yoga class customers.
INT. KAT’S CAT CAFE – FLASHBACK
Clutching a beautiful orange CAT, Kat hisses at some fluffy yapping PUPPIES. The WOMEN in YOGA PANTS struggle to reign their pets in. Kat: “Nama-stay downward, dogs!”
INT. THE MIDDLE C PIANO BAR – CONTINUOUS
Carter snorts derisively as he continues cleaning. An offended Kat retorts with how difficult her cat cafe is to run, especially for him. More snorting ensues from Carter as he bets Kat could not survive a day running his bar. Kat takes the bet and raises the stakes: toilet duty for the loser.
ACT ONE
INT. THE MIDDLE C PIANO BAR – DAY
Kat belts out “If you like piña coladas!” dropping MARGARITA SHAKERS and sliding DRINKS across the bar to meet their shattered demise. Duetting Kat, Max plays the PIANO.
At this point, Gideon slips in to join the musical-mixing shenanigans. Kat clarifies this cutthroat competition is just between her and Carter. Realization dawning, Kat sends Gideon on a sabotage quest by enticing him with a trip to IKEA. Gideon: “You betta believe-a I’ll see-ya at Ikea!”
INT. KAT’S CAT CAFE – DAY
“Shots shots shots…” blasts from Carter’s PHONE as he and Randi pound back ESPRESSO SHOTS. Sheila saunters up to the COUNTER asking Carter about his plans to sabotage Kat – like mother, like daughter. Seeing Gideon blow past them slyly, Randi suggests Sheila be the saboteur. Sheila silences Carter’s protests: “I’m Katherine’s mother. I know how to make her life miserable.”
INT. THE MIDDLE C PIANO BAR – DAY
The bar buzzes packed with the excited ELDERLY – Sheila’s retirement home friends definitely got the memo. Kat spirals out of control giving everyone drinks on the house, too socially awkward to deny anyone. Swimming through the crowd to answer the ringing BAR PHONE, Kat learns of a surprise health inspection happening in a few hours. Kat: “Shoot shoot shoot…”
Kat calls Max for help and fretfully explains the unsanitary situation: drunken elders, granny belly shots, and a large sweaty shirtless OLD MAN playing the piano. Kat: “He’s singing us a song, but he’s not exactly the piano man.” Full of doubt himself, Max still tries to reassure her.
INT. KAT’S CAT CAFE – DAY
Randi makes a LATTE for her regular, WYATT. She freezes on seeing a lack of espresso beans.
Poking her head into the KITCHEN, Randi faces TOWERING STACKS of BREAD. Gideon pops up cheerfully announcing his Amish friendship bread made from espresso beans. Gideon: “I wanted to share the loaf with my friends with absolutely no ulterior motive.” Seeing the rage in Randi’s eyes, Gideon breaks down with overwhelming guilt and confesses to sabotaging them.
A fuming Randi vents, but Gideon suddenly notices his last LOAF is burning in the OVEN.
Gideon lunges for the FIRE EXTINGUISHER, knowing nothing about its use, and foams up the place. An unexpecting Carter comes in to ask for Randi’s help with making latte art and stops short at seeing her drenched in foam. Randi snaps at them both about their lack of espresso beans for lattes, let alone latte art, and Gideon’s sabotage. Randi: “I’m a depresso latte – extra foam.”
Protective of his girlfriend, Carter kicks Gideon out, only as an afterthought calling out to him to pick up more espresso beans. Carter turns to Randi for a makeshift coffee solution. She has one, but it’s not ideal – French Presses. Randi: “Basically, you better be ready to take the plunge.”
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